So, I think I committed a faux pas. A social networking type of one.
What is a faux pas? Literally, a “false step” or a violation of accepted social norms. More generally, a “blunder, especially a social blunder.”
If you call somebody a jerk behind his back, well, thats not a faux pas, just plain old dumb and rude as well!
In the old days, faux pas were, IMHO, silly little rules of etiquette such as: don’t wear white shoes after Labor Day. If you Google faux pas you find out about Pippa Middleton and her blunders wearing dresses that are too short, or wearing green to a wedding (violating the rule: weddings and green should never be seen).
But today we (all of us) have a world of new opportunities for faux pas. Due to Facebook, Twitter, LinkedIn and who knows how many other sites that expose us to the world, our blunders can be “out there” in no time….and at the doorstep of a large audience.
We all know about the person who called in sick for work, but then posted their adventures on FB…..certainly a blunder with possibly major consequences. ODesk blog (2009) lists other social networking faux pas as well: posting a pretentious profile, arguing with a friend’s friend on their wall, posting something every 5 minutes (how many people do we know who do this?), exchanging messages with old flames while currently married, accidentally replying to multiple recipients….ha ha,,,,
Well, a few days ago I blundered. And the consequences have been, well, …….interesting!
Somebody sent a request for a connection on LinkedIn. Despite the fact that I haven’t yet figured out what LinkedIn will do for me (or anybody else for that matter) I accepted his request. The next screen that popped up had a long list of many people I know (with checks by their names) and I was presented with the option: “invite them to connect with you” or “skip this step.” I didn't look very carefully at the list because I intended to click “skip this step.” However, as you have probably guessed, I inadvertently clicked “invite.” Like the sorcerer’s apprentice and his errant broom, I watched as a couple of hundred invites to connect with me were sent out. And, like the apprentice I could not figure out how to stop this.
But what is so interesting is that immediately, I started to receive replies. Within 30 minutes 15 people had accepted my invitation to connect. Who were they? One was the owner of a travel business I had used over 5 years ago, another was a doctor I knew professionally from the past, another was an author of a travel site that I had sent information to (many many years ago), a few were old acquaintances, and four others I knew not at all. The list has grown…..at this point, over 100 people have “connected” to me. Wow.
Who are these people? What do they have in common? And why do they want to connect with me? They include many of my acquaintances who own some sort of business: doctors, lawyers, accountants, real estate agents...One is the journalist son of my second cousin (don't think I ever e mailed him); another is the real estate agent daughter of a friend (also never e mailed). Then there is the attorney in Switzerland I have never heard of (OK maybe there was some connection with relatives living in Switzerland?) And today I got a couple of more "acceptances" from other attorneys in NYC....none of whom I know at all...and none of whose services I need at present.....
My connections certainly comprise a funny list. What kind of algorithm does LinkedIn use to generate the list of requests....eeks....how would it know about some of these people? It must be based upon email contacts, but then again, it didn’t include a lot of people I do email …..and it did include people who I really don’t think I ever emailed before.
Tis more than a little unsettling to see how much LinkedIn can find out about my life.... Even funnier, tho, is how many of these people that I know not at all just automatically accepted my request for a connection......
But, as one person said to me….."its good to be connected.” And I guess this clearly demonstrates just how many people’s paths we cross in one guise or another.
